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| Something is alive in me Not for the first time, but it has been a long while I thought I needed some sleep Instead I find you here Stuck in my mind keeping me awake I close my eyes and pray you'll go away Please stay I don't want to turn off the light to find that this is just a dream. | | |
| Just so you know I fell again today cause falling is easy and I can't carry this weight alone anymore It's not like I've been alone, but Pride keeps telling me I can be the one who makes it. Today I finally realized how far that I am fallen, How far I have to go, is beyond my comprehension. I'll take it one step at a time, One day at a time Cause I am Broken and Battered and Tired of letting go Maybe now I'm ready to start climbing again. | | |
| I've been there on the edge of a cliff
wanting to take that last step
sometimes I've danced there
sometimes I've cried
sometimes I just stand
hoping for the numbness to come
for the cold to take another soul
sometimes I've prayed there
sometimes I've stumbled
sometimes... Then sun will come out
to play across your face
evaporating the tears frozen in place
the heat comes from within you
sometimes a smile is what it takes
sometimes a spoken word or two,
but three would be too many,
it could break these fragile thoughts,
who knows..
I know WHO Why jump when you can fly?
don't look down into nothingness, the abyss
look to the horizon, and to the stars.
This blood travels through generations,
both pain and joy journey from one heart to another.
Sometimes there are answers
Most times more questions
This is why we stand here wondering
Is it worth it all
IT IS WORTH IT
This pain is here now, but it will leave like an unwelcome guest.
Just breathe
Just breathe | | |
| Myndi couldn't help but look at her wrists, to watch her heart beat flow into her hands. She made a fist then opened her hand. She got up from the floor and began again to examine her world of white. The walls were padded. The ceiling was out of her reach, maybe 12 feet high. The room itself is shaped like a circle. Everything is white. Even the gas they pump into the room to make her go to sleep is white. She began to hum. There was no specific song or tune that she would hum, she simply had begun to do this when she concentrated. She left her eyes open, she shuddered as she thought of what would happen if she closed her eyes. She walked in a counter-clockwise motion as she continued to hum keeping her eyes straight in front of her. She had only been able to do this once before, and it had scared her so much that she had screamed and lost her concentration and the face that had appeared in front of her eyes had disappeared as quickly as it had surfaced. The face had belonged to a man, that she was certain. He seemed to be older than Myndi, and he had been just as suprised as she. He was trying to say something, but she couldn't hear him. She pushed the memory aside as she concetrated on the face she had seen, just a few days ago. Her pace continued humming and walking, she smiled for a moment wondering what those watching were thinking, but the smile was replaced with a frown and a brow wrinkled with determination. "It wasn't going to work was it?" She thought as she continued to follow where the wall beside her was leading. She took a deep breath. The humming went silent and her breath, as she pulled the air into her lungs would fill her ears and then the humming, until she wasn't sure it was her doing the humming or the breathing, but she could hear it. In fact the noise level seemed to rise with each step she took. Then she couldn't hear herself anymore. She reached her hand up to touch her throat and felt the vibration she was still humming, still breathing. Her hand fell to her side as she walked along. Then he was there looking at her. He seemed to be staring at her. She raised her hand and the man in her vision raised his hand towards her. They seemed to be a large distant apart, but she was getting closer with each step she took. She began to walk faster, and then to run. She wanted to know he was real. She wanted to touch the hand he reached towards her. Myndi, tripped over her own feet, and began to fall. Her hum became a shout as she lunged toward the hand of this stranger. They touched, and Myndi's hand went cold and numb, goosebumps appeared on her naked skin and she was conflicted with feelings of acheivement and fear. The man seemed equally scared and she could feel something move from his mind down his arm and into her finger. The cold began to spread, she could see the cold now billowing down on her as she began to scream. The white gas enveloped her as she breathed it into her lungs, and the world of white faded black. | | |
| I NEED your help My sins won't wash out I try to cover them with layers People see right through me They know I'm a failure This dirt under my skin doesn't come out I've scrubbed until I've bled, I've smiled, yet wished I was dead I haven't grown out of this skin So I'm asking for help, because you've helped me before I wonder if you'd given up on me, But here you are waiting for my embrace. Don't be suprised, I know you won't be, If I seem so uneager I've used up my favors, I've lost all my rewards, It's simple really, I've become a slave, Why work for a man who beats me every day forgetting to feed me on most days I'd rather be your slave than a slave to myself So 'll kiss your feet, and beg you to pay the piper, because I'm no musician, And neither are these swine. | | |
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